When the alarm clock actually went off — a measly four hours after patrol had ended — Stephanie's first thought was that she was impressed that the alarm clock had actually made it through the fourth ring without one or both of her lovers demolishing it.
Neither Jason nor Kara particularly cared for alarm clocks, Stephanie had learned. Not that Stephanie herself was particularly fond of them, because she wasn't. But unlike the other two parts of her relationship, Stephanie usually managed to avoid taking out her frustrations on the fairly destructible piece of plastic.
Opening her eyes, Stephanie was greeted by a cranky Jason on her left, who reminded her of the reason why the alarm had survived as long as it had. "Wake up, Brown. You have a wedding to go to."
"Too early," Kara complained, wrapping herself around Stephanie's waist.
"I thought Supers didn't need sleep," Stephanie reminded, reaching over Jason to turn the alarm off.
"Sleep is not even in the top three lists of things I like to do in this bed," Kara answered. As if Stephanie needed a reminder about what one of those top three might be, Kara ran a lazy hand up the front of Stephanie's pajama top.
"You look confused, Jay. Didn't think I'd ever see the day that the Red Hood was confused about sexual innuendos," Stephanie chuckled, wriggling up to meet Kara's hand readily. Oh, Super hands. Hands didn't really come any better. That combination of never-going-to-have-callouses type of softness that met with a can-toss-a-small-island-into-the-sun confidence was kind of perfect, as far as Stephanie could tell.
Jason wrinkled his nose and gave an indignant snort. "I got the innuendo, Batgirl," he answered. "I figured fucking was in the top three, and we all know that getting Alfred's chicken salad sandwich crumbs all over the nice clean sheets are up there, too. I'm just trying to figure out what her third favorite might be."
Kara stopped paying such great attention to Stephanie's boobs — much to Stephanie's dismay — and turned her attention instead to glaring at Jason. "Well, there are different kinds of fucking, Todd. In case you've forgotten."
Jason laughed, the kind of quiet, jerky laugh that could nonetheless cause the sheet that had been barely covering him to give up the cause and reveal all of his body parts below the waist that were relevant to the activity being discussed.
"You know, when you curse, you still sound like school girl on the playground," Jason mocked, which didn't surprise Stephanie at all. If she had learned nothing else, she had certainly learned that Jason enjoyed verbal sparring almost as much as he enjoyed physical altercations with criminals, when it came to foreplay.
"Oh, really?" Kara challenged.
"Really. Maybe we should be finding you a different kind of short skirt," Jason said casually, and Stephanie groaned internally. "The plaid kind."
Kara's eyes narrowed over Stephanie's body and Stephanie wondered if maybe Jason was going to get a good round of physical sparring — right out of the window.
Well, that wouldn't do at all. In fact, Stephanie was pretty sure that would ruin her plans to get Kara's hands back on her boobs, where they belonged.
"Maybe I've forgotten," Stephanie interrupted loudly. Both Jason and Kara looked at her with varying degrees of confusion, so Stephanie qualified, "Maybe I've forgotten about the various kinds of fucking."
Stephanie put an emphasis on the latter word, because she wasn't a Super. She wasn't really a Bat — costume and codename to the contrary — either, at least, not the way Jason was. But she and Jay had similar enough of a background that he wasn't going to lecture her about how to cuss properly.
"Didn't seem to have a problem with that last night," Kara said doubtfully.
"Really didn't seem to," Jason agreed, suddenly much more awake and much more agreeable. "But if you need a quick reminder…"
"A really quick reminder," Kara pointed out. "We have to leave in the next ten minutes if we want to make it to Smallville in time for the ceremony."
"We can make it quick," Jason insisted, while Stephanie pouted up at Kara. "I'm going to be here, all day by my lonesome, while the two of you go off to have Martha Kent pie. You can at least find it in your hearts to give me a proper goodbye…"
Kara rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, Jason. You know as well as I do that we will not be allowed to come back to this apartment without at least one serving of pie. And to prove that she is smarter than Batman, Superman and Oracle combined, the wonderful old woman who lives there will conveniently make sure it's your favorite flavor."
"And to prove that he's just as smart as the wonderful old woman who lives there, the wonderful old man who will be there fore the wedding won't let us leave without at least a dozen of your favorite cookies," Stephanie continued.
"That's true," Jason said smugly. "The best members of your families do tend to want me to be happy."
"Our families," Kara corrected.
Jason rolled his eyes and Stephanie elbowed him in the gut. "She's right, you know. Half of the bunch gathering at the Kent farm today are your family."
"Can we get back to the fucking options? Because I liked that conversation much better than this one," Jason answered.
Kara stuck her tongue out at him and Stephanie continued, as though she hadn't been interrupted. "Really, Jason. You should come with us today."
"I wasn't invited," Jason denied.
"Only because nobody knows where to send your invitation," Stephanie insisted.
"Yes, because I'm sure Drake is just dying to see me show up." Jason leaned back on bed and folded his arm under his head. "He'd be so thrilled. Why I could just wrap a bow around myself and give myself as a present."
"Your sarcasm attempts are worse than Kara's cursing attempts," Stephanie grumbled petulantly.
"Hey!" Kara said indignantly.
"Horses," Jason retorted. Stephanie sighed at the pure Robin-worthiness of the pun. "And I'll have you know, number three, that my sarcasm is fantastic."
"I'm not actually the third Batgirl," Stephanie pointed out. "Which is another reason you should come to the wedding. I'm sure there will be plenty of people from our family there to adequately educate you on the history of the Batgirls."
Jason gave one of his jerky laughs again. "Yeah, that's a great idea. I should go where there are more Batgirls. And more Supers. You realize Superman and Oracle are going to kill me, right? Once they find out about our little … arrangement?"
"Kal doesn't kill," Kara said, completely unhelpfully, in Stephanie's estimation.
"And Oracle doesn't, technically, condone killing either," Stephanie agreed. "But she understands, sometimes, when people need to."
"Bullshit," Jason informed her.
"She does employ Huntress," Kara pointed out.
"The boring version," Jason argued. "From what I hear, the Huntress that flies with the Birds had her wings duly clipped to fit into the boring, stale, safe Batman-approved style of vigilante."
"Man, would I not want to be in your shoes if Helena heard you say that," Stephanie muttered.
"Look who is talking, Jason," Kara retorted. "First of all, you haven't killed since Tim broke you out of jail."
"Which is a good thing," Stephanie hastened to say.
"Secondly," Kara continued, "You're too chicken to even show up a wedding."
"This isn't about me being chicken," Jason began, but Kara dismissed him with a wave of her hand.
"It's about you wanting to hide from Babs and Kal. Chicken, pure and simple," Kara proclaimed.
Jason's eyes narrowed. "Is that what you think?"
"Yup," Kara answered. "So, really. If anybody has had his wings clipped, it's the formerly big, bad Red Hood."
Jason sat up at glared at Kara over Stephanie's body. Stephanie had to admit that half the appeal of being in a relationship with the two of them was that they could go from perfectly relaxed to a full-blown argument over nothing at all. Things were never dull and well … Stephanie couldn't exactly deny that watching them fight and fuss was a pretty big turn on, all by itself.
"I don't think it's that at all, Kara," Stephanie said, reaching up to stroke Jason's abs lazily. Jason gave one of his half-smiles down at her, and Stephanie almost felt guilty about saying, "I think that it's more a case of Jason doesn't want to have to admit that he's wrong."
Jason's half-smile turned to a frown. "And just what am I going to be wrong about?"
"You're so convinced that everyone is going to continue to be unwelcoming," Stephanie pointed out. "Kara and I know better. You're justifiably unwilling to show up and have egg all over your face when it turns out that we were right and you were wrong."
"I thought you, of all people, knew how crazy our family is, Brown." Jason scowled, then took a breath that Stephanie was sure he hoped neither of them noticed. "Fine. I'll go."
"Really?" Stephanie asked hopefully.
"I'll go and I'll be proven right. Then on the way back from the huge clusterfuck this is going to be, little Miss Schoolgirl can pick up a pretty plaid skirt in penance for losing the bet."
"When I'm right, and everyone pounces on you to give you hugs and kisses, we'll stop and get you the plaid skirt," Kara answered breezily. "And you can wear it in penance for losing the bet."
"Deal," Jason agreed.
"Deal," Kara answered, then added hastily, "Damian doesn't count as part of the deal, you do realize? He hates everyone."
"Eh, the Wayne genes over-ruled the Talia genes," Jason answered, which Stephanie thought was weird, because everything she'd ever heard indicated otherwise…
"There's just one problem to this deal," Stephanie interrupted. "Either way, one of you wins. What do I get?"
"Kara dressed as a schoolgirl?" Jason offered.
"Jason in a skirt?" Kara suggested in return.
"Both acceptable and awesome kinks," Stephanie agreed. "But neither really push my buttons. You know what would push my buttons?"
"Being late?" Kara guessed. "Because we're going to be."
"Fashionably late, after a little good morning tumble and not a shower before hand," Stephanie told them. "All those people guaranteed to be there with enhanced senses…"
"That's an odd kink you've got," Kara informed Stephanie, before shrugging off her own top.
"Not really. It's your basic exhibitionism, except for superheroes," Jason answered, helping Stephanie with her pajama bottom, since he didn't have any of his own.
"No comments about how it's going to give Superman more reason to kill you?" Kara teased.
"Eh, that goes without saying. Besides, if you're going to jump from a cliff, it might as well be a high one," Jason answered. Then he leaned down and put his mouth to better use and the three of them forgot talking — and the impending wedding — for a while.