[I saw three ships]
To: Angel
From:
Betas: Thank you to tresca and shanalle for the beta work.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Threesome: Hermione Granger/Luna Lovegood/Neville Longbottom
Title: Botched
Requested Element: well-read, over-educated, geeky virgins
Notes: For the Three Ships challenge. For Angel who requested geeky virgins. I hope this works for you.
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I am a big evil liar.

Potions class wasn't one that Hermione really enjoyed. All the fun had been sucked out of it by Snape's cruel words and obvious disdain no matter how well her concoctions turned out. When she was teamed up with Neville, she was sure that her professor was just being spiteful.

It wasn't like he didn't try, but Neville was just hopeless. He added the right things to every mixture, but it was the subtle nuances of the potions that he could never grasp—the timing between additions, the direction in which to stir… Hermione tried to just get him to measure and add things when she said, and she only took her eyes away for a split second to glance at Harry and Ron's cauldron. When she turned back, she had no idea how many beetle legs had gone in. She only saw a few dissolving in the liquid and the overturned bottle in Neville's hand.

"Neville!" Exasperation filled her voice, and she tried to use a pair of tongs to remove some, but it was too late. As written, the potion would last for a couple of hours, and would only enhance the positive feelings held for people. She had no idea why Snape had made them use it. Its applications were for rivaling siblings and feuding couples… that sort of thing. It called for two legs, added at separate times to make absorption slower. She glanced at the front of the room, Snape was smirking at her.

She glared for a few seconds at the bubbling cauldron, biting her lip, trying to gauge what had happened and whether she had time to fix it. "How many did you put in?" She hissed at him, stirring frantically. She knew that Snape liked making them try their potions when they were done. Usually, it was fine because hers were always perfect. But now, she dreaded the end of class. The liquid in her cauldron was a deep blue, much bluer than any of the ones she could see.

"Um, I meant to only put one in, but I slipped. And I… I'm sorry, Hermoine. What do you think is going to happen?"

She shrugged. "Honestly, Neville. I made it easy for you. You only had to add things when I said!" She glanced at the clock and stopped stirring as Snape's voice cut through the room.

"Your potion should be finished. Everyone needs to take a half-cup measure and drink it. You should start feeling greater affection for your partner, but…" He looked right at Hermoine, sneering. "That is only if it is correct. The strength of the potion depends upon the size of the beetle leg that went in… or in some cases the amount of legs that went in completely."

Hermione looked desperately at the potion as it bubbled a little bluer, willing it to do as it was supposed to. She looked at Neville's shaking hand around his cup and clinked her cup with his. Nothing she could do about it now, she thought as she tipped her head back and swallowed. For all of Snape's faults as a teacher, she didn't think he'd let them drink something that would kill them. Probably.


It was rather anti-climatic, really. She and Neville each drank down their potion, and then looked at each other for a few minutes. Hermione didn't feel a thing. She'd expected tingling or something, especially with the extra ingredients.

"It seems you've managed to bungle the entire thing, doesn't it?"

Hermione looked up at Snape and then at her empty cup, frowning. "I… I guess so."

"Ten points from Gryffindor. Out of my classroom. I can't believe you're both sixth years. I could brew this potion before I even received my Hogwarts letter," he sneered at them, and with a billowing of his cape, he was gone.

Hermione closed her eyes and let out a breath before shaking her head and gathering up her book and stuffing it into her bag. "God, I hate him."

"Me too," Neville whispered. He already had his books together and he was looking at Hermione a little strangely.

She laughed a little bitterly. "Maybe he made us brew it so we'd like him more. Funny how that didn't work either." Disgusted, she headed out of the room, knowing Neville was trailing after her.

Neither of them made it very far. Her steps slowed as the tingling sensation she'd expected earlier slid through her. She turned slowly, almost like she couldn't keep going in a direction that wasn't towards Neville. All sounds ceased, they all just fell away and the only thing that she could hear was Neville stuttering.

It sounded like a beautiful melody.

Peripherally, she heard a noise she couldn't quite identify. She turned her head slowly and found Luna. Ravenclaws must have Potions after them… she'd never noticed before. She'd never quite noticed how pretty the blue and bronze tie was against Luna's skin.

Looking around frantically, Hermione took charge, dragging Neville and Luna into the only empty classroom she could see. She didn't even know what she wanted, but she turned to Neville, reaching for his arm and pulled him to her, kissing him desperately.

She could feel Luna watching, so she turned towards her and pulled her close. Hermione had no idea what she was doing, but she couldn't fight any of the feelings running through her. Vaguely, she realized that it was the potion, and that she should probably just hide in her dormitory till the effects wore off, but she just couldn't pull herself away.

"Sorry," she mumbled as she kissed Luna's cheek. "Just… I have to do this."

Luna just nodded and slid her hand along Hermoine's arm. "I shouldn't. I never… but what the hell? I'm always up for trying new things."

Glancing at Neville, Hermione was relived to see the same panic on his face that she felt herself. She'd read a couple of books about this situation. Well, maybe not this exact situation. Muggle books didn't tend to give advice about drinking a too-strong potion that made you desperately need to ravish everyone in the vicinity.

A brief thought crossed her mind—what if Neville messed this up like he did everything else? She watched him kiss Luna—or maybe Luna was kissing him. But his fingers slid along her cheek almost delicately. Really hoping that it wasn't a trick of the potion making her think it was okay, she reached for the sash on her robe that would open it.

She loosened her tie and slid her fingers down her chest, eyes closing as her thumbs brushed across her erect nipples, until she got to the waistband of her skirt. Finding the clasp was easy, the sound loud in her ears as she opened it and let her skirt fall to the floor, most of her own rules about clothing care abandoned in her need to get closer to Neville.

Hermione opened her eyes to find both Neville and Luna staring at her. She flushed slightly and then started in on the buttons of her shirt. She was infinitely grateful when Neville closed the distance between them and started to help. Shuddering as his fingertips brushed against her skin as it was exposed, she gasped when a second pair of hands joined in and Neville's lips touched hers again.

She kissed him back, her fingers scrabbling at his robe and tie, happy when Luna's fingers joined hers in their mission. Her mouth opened underneath Neville's and she coaxed his tongue into her mouth. He was definitely better at this than he was at making potions.

She started to feel skin on hers, and she panted when she pulled back, the need to see overriding the need to be closer. Neville was hiding a lot under those robes. Her eyes widened and the urge to drop to her knees was so great that she was really glad her robe was still on the otherwise bare floor. She glanced over at Luna, who was nodding appreciatively and then looked up at Neville.

He looked to be panting pretty harshly. She took that as a good sign. Some of the words from the book she'd read about this popped into her head. 'Don't rush things! And for God's sake, use as much tongue as you can,' it had advised. She took that to heart, sliding her hands up Neville's bare thighs, fingertips brushing lightly. She leaned forward and licked her lips before licking across his stomach. She liked the shiver she got in response.

All nervousness she thought she'd have in this position vanished under the need that the potion had produced. She flattened her hands and slid them down Neville's sides, to his narrow hips, pushing them against a nearby desk. She heard a muffled moan and a small gasp, which a quick glance confirmed was just Neville kissing Luna.

Hermione licked her lips and leaned forward, running her tongue across the head of Neville's dick. Another muffled groan and she smiled as she took more in. It was so much better than she'd read about. The book had never described the heat and weight of a cock on your tongue.

She closed her eyes and moaned low in her throat, taking more in. It was a rush she hadn't expected. Half wondering if it was the potion, but not caring at all, she started moving, not really able to take too much of Neville in, but he didn't seem to mind at all, what with the noises he was making.

After a few bobs of her head, she pulled back, licking her lips, panting lightly. She wasn't surprised to see Luna and Neville still kissing. She was, however, surprised to have Luna drop down next to her and lean in for a kiss.

She heard a groan coming from Neville, but then there were hands touching her and she wasn't sure if they were Luna's or Neville's. She tried to focus, but all the new sensations were distracting her a little. She finally guessed that the rough hands on her hips were Neville's, and the soft, gentle hands caressing her breasts were Luna's. She kept her eyes closed and let the hands touching her lower her to the robes covering the floor.

After a few minutes of the hands gliding across her skin and Luna kissing her, Hermione started to squirm a little. She needed more—more of Neville touching her. "Please, Neville," she panted, pulling her mouth from Luna's. She raised her hips, trying to ask with her body for what she needed.

Her begging paid off when Neville's fingers pushed hesitantly between her thighs. "Oh, yeah," she breathed and reached down to help direct him. She shivered when he hit the spot she needed and then opened her eyes in surprise when he pushed her hand away and started moving his fingers on his own.

Hermione licked her lips and then arched a little bit when she felt warm, moist lips kissing down her collar bone. She looked down to watch, unable to tear her eyes away to see Luna's lips close over a nipple. She moaned loudly, sucking in a breath when Neville pushed a finger inside.

She didn't want anyone to stop. Any embarrassment or anxiousness she might have felt at any other point in time was gone thanks to the over abundance of beetle legs. All she felt was want and heat coursing through her. She spread her thighs a little more, arching her hips towards Neville. "Oh, God," she moaned.

She didn't know what to do with her hands. She clenched and unclenched her fingers a few times before letting one slide down and run along Luna's head. She wasn't asking for anything—she wasn't even entirely sure what she needed. It just seemed imperative to touch something. She let her other hand trail back down her body, reaching for some part of Neville, finding one of his hands and squeezing it.

It wasn't long before she felt like she was going to explode. Neville's fingers thrusting inside her, and Luna's mouth licking and sucking at her nipple, both of them threatening to make her vibrate apart. Hermione bit down on her lip, arching up as she felt her body hit its peak, crying out loudly when Neville's fingers twisted inside her.

Swallowing as she caught her breath, Hermione opened her eyes and looked down. Luna was smiling up at her and she smiled back, glancing over at Neville who still looked a little shocked at everything. She sat up and reached for Neville.

Not wasting time with any more niceties, she wrapped a hand around Neville's dick, stroking it lightly. He made a surprised noise and then kind of fell back into a sitting position. Hermione moved with him, the desire for more contact with him pushing her forward.

She stroked lightly, and then experimented a little bit, tightening her hand, moving it a little quicker, enjoying the noises she was getting. Panting and moaning, Neville's eyes were closed. He arched into her hand, his hips rising off the floor to meet her hand. Little gasps and noises escaped his mouth until Luna wiggled up and covered his mouth with hers.

Hermione flexed the fingers on her free hand and slid them up Luna's thigh. She could feel the affects of the potion wearing off a little, and the part of her brain that insisted on fairness suggested that everyone had to feel as good as she just had. She knew what to do—she'd practiced on herself enough.

She wasn't prepared for how slick and hot Luna would be, but she moved her fingers where she knew they were supposed to be, her breath catching at the way both of her friends writhed underneath her hands. Power coursed through her, fueled by the last remnants of the potion.

She felt Luna tense underneath her fingers, her moans getting louder. Hermione tried to focus her attention there, guessing that it would only be a few minutes longer. Luna slumped back to the floor, panting and Hermione shifted towards Neville, giving him back her full attention.

He was writhing and panting, his hips rising up to meet her hand. She slid her now Luna-slicked hand up his thigh, her fingers brushing across his balls. The skin rougher than she expected, she explored for a few minutes until Neville's voice broke through. "Hermoine… God. Gonna…" he choked on the last word and then came all over her hand.

A little surprised, she slowed her hand and then pulled away when he seemed to stop. She licked her lips and brought her hand up to her mouth, remembering the taste from earlier, wondering if everything was the same. She wiped her hand on the nearest robe and then licked her fingers clean, apparently, the potion still in her system.

She smiled, waiting for a few minutes before saying softly, "We should try to get out of here before Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws get out of Potions. We can use the Prefects bathroom to clean up… Neville, I can get you into the boys'—I know that password too." She was suddenly kind of uncomfortable with being naked and shifted to find the robe that was probably hers.

The potion seemed to stop working just as quickly as it had started. She stood up, pulling the robe over her head and then tried to get everyone else dressed too. She looked at Neville and blushed a little bit, smiling. "I'm not upset about the botched potion, Nev."

He gave her a winning smile after he had his robe on and then they both looked at Luna.

"Oh… You were doused. With a potion?" She looked around and ran her fingers through her hair. "Maybe I should get the recipe for that potion. That was fun."

She smiled at them both and shrugged a little. Hermione just shook her head. Neville looked like he was going to say something and then nodded. Hermione laughed. She managed to get them out of the vicinity of the Potions room and up the stairs to Prefect's bathroom without being seen, thankfully. She didn't need the potion to kiss them both after they were done. But she stored the knowledge away of what could happen if too many beetle legs were added, just in case.

[fin]